Where's Arnold when you need him? 

The 1990 sci-fi classic "Total Recall" has been 'rebooted,' 're-tooled', 're-imagined' and ultimately stripped bare of the creative boundaries, social commentary and originality of its predecessor.

Director Les Wiseman ("Underworld") takes a crack at the loosely-based Philip K. Dick story "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale," but unlike the original film's director Paul Verhoven, Wiseman adds zilch in the way of substance.

Despite a few nods to the original Schwarzenegger film, this indulgent "Total Recall" feels like a burnt microwave dinner, making the not-too-great original look like a luxurious helping of caviar.

The film bursts out of the gate with a sprint but gives the false impression that it will be a layered, complex sci-fi actioner along the lines of "Minority Report." We are introduced to Quaid, a factory worker who is suffering from a recurring dream.